I love to have fun with paper, food, paint, music and events and just being creative in all of it. However, I don't feel the need to be a perfectionist nor a professional in any of my creations. I wish I could have a blog JUST about the art of cooking, photography, sewing, art, mothering, jewelry making, card making, dancing, gardening, deep spiritual thoughts, decorating, poetry, party planning, baking.... and the list goes on but I can't. I don't think I was created with the ability to focus on one task. I like all of these hobbies layed out before me and the freedom to pick whatever I choose depending on the mood or time I have.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Every judging eye is saying "bad mommy, bad mommy"

I sacrificed my precious running time and let my children join me: 7yr old who was running way slow and my 4yr old who was on a scooter and kept requesting for us to stop because he was exhausted.  Though I must admit I was glad that my 7 yr old wanted to run.  My husband was waaaaay in the back pushing our baby in the stroller.  At some point in our run or should I say very slow jog my 4yr old says "I am going to wait for daddy because I am tired".  I look back and I can see my husband enough to do some hand gestures that should be interpreted as follows:  I am going to continue my strenuous run and our 4yr old is going to sit here and wait for you. 

So we take off.  I am about to cross a busy pedestrians and cars intersection so I grab my 7yr olds hand and we run across.  Just as I reach the other side I hear my 4yr old screaming and crying "mommy, mommy don't leave".  I turn around bewildered and embarrassed because I immediately have every one around me looking at me like what a horrible mom running off and crossing a busy street leaving her little boy behind.  I walk back across the street to scold I mean tenderly hold my 4yr old and the whole time I can feel and see every judging eye on me.  I am frustrated because this could of been a potentially dangerous situation if he would of crossed the street with out me.

When this happens to you mommy (though I am sure you will never have this bad mommy moment) you walk with confidence and mumble to yourself "I am a good mom, I am a good mom" and act like you don't care what they are thinking (even if you do).

Unfortunately, I am sad to report I didn't go back and comfort him.  As I walked back to him I gave him THE look that should make every kid tremble the "boy your in trouble" and said sternly "go back to daddy."  At that point my husband was only a few feet away and everyone around us goes back to their business still thinking that sure is a bad mom.

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